Dark Enough
by truustory
Summary: The death of Lily Evans


**There is a girl...** **Do anything but laugh**

Lily Evans sat in the front of the class, her notes neat and complete, her classwork complete and perfect. Next to her, Marlene McKinnon chattered on, and Lily plastered on a fake smile that didn't reach her emerald eyes. She acted well, nodding encouragingly as Marlene spoke, laughing as she told a joke. Her auburn hair was brushed out of her eyes, and she listened to her energetic friend laugh without a care in the world.

 **She's tall and she's smart...** **She tries to fix what is wrong**

She leaned over to help the struggling Gryffindor boy with the inanimate to animate transfiguration, coaching him in a soft, soothing voice until he achieves the spell. He smiles brightly at the girl, eyes lit brightly with happiness that Lily didn't feel. Silently, Lily retreated into herself more.

 **How does someone... f** **eel so insecure?**

" _You're such a freak," Petunia sneered at her sister. "Why don't you just go back to your freak friends and leave normal people like us alone? No one wants you here anyways."_

 **As to...** **still want to hurt more...**

In the din of the second floor girls bathroom, she sat, face stoic, and took off her robe and long sleeved shirt, holding her arm away from the white cami. She pressed a knife to her skin and drew blood, slicing open the skin again and again. She didn't feel the pain, only the relief as tension bled out of her body.

 **How does someone so loving...** **her mind isn't dark enough**

Blood trickled out of her cuts, into the sink as Myrtle was silent next to her, silent out of pity. Later, after the blood had dried and Lily stood to vanish the blood from the floor and wash the blood from her face, Myrtle would talk to her, beg her not to hurt herself anymore, and for a time, Lily wouldn't. But she would be back in that bathroom the next week after everything became too much to deal with.

 **There is a girl...** **Like newly cut glass**

James noticed when Lily's eyes no longer sparkled. He didn't have the right to say anything after everything he'd put her through, but he saw. Her friends had to see the same, right?

 **The ghost of a smile...** **they tell her** **"Who's on First Base"**

Lily sat in the common room, listening to Mary McDougal chatter on about the Hogwarts "New Hottest Couple' Sirius and Samantha, dubbed Samanthus. The others in the common room was loud and filled with delighted chatter, but Lily didn't see any of it. Her glassy eyes made her look daydreamy when really it was the pain in her soul leaking out.

 **How does someone so perfect...** **still want to hurt more...**

"Please, Myrtle," Lily begged tiredly. "Just leave me alone."

"Don't. Please don't," Myrtle begged, as Lily washed the blood off of her blade, bandaging her arms and applying a glamour.

"What else can I do?"

 **How does someone...** **As if her mind isn't dark enough**

She had to feel. She felt empty, incomplete, and she hated it. She had no one. She was _no one._ What did she matter anyways? No one needs her- what's the point?

 **There is a girl...** **To see her smile or laugh**

Lily smiled, but her eyes had lost their innocence. James frowned. Why wasn't anyone noticing? They were her friends, shouldn't they see what was so obvious?

 _One more week,_ he promised himself. _One more week, and if she doesn't look better, he'd do something._

 **Her friends tells her jokes...** **And enter her mind**

 _Worthless freak. Go back to your freak school with your freak friends- I don't need you here. I don't want you. God, Lily, I wish you'd never been born! My life would be so much better if you didn't exist! FREAK!_

 **How does someone so perfect...** **still want to hurt more...**

"Lily, stop! Lily, please! Don't!" Myrtle begged as Lily dug the knife into her arm. To deep, too much blood… Lily's eyesight faded to black, eyelids flickering shut. "Lily! Oh my God! Lily!"

 **How does someone so loving...** **For her imperfections…**

The life bled out of Lily's body, the heat fading from her body against the cold tiles. Blood pooled around her body, and Myrtle tried to clutch at Lily, only to go straight through. Myrtle flew off in desperate search of anyone who could help her Lily, the only one who had talked to her.

 **There is a girl... W** **ho yesterday took t** **he breath that was her last...**

"Lily? Lily? Oh my god!" Marlene screamed, her voice echoing through the hallway, drawing the attention of everyone on the floor. Marlene knelt by the body of her friend, frantically searching for a pulse, trying to staunch the bleeding.

 **She wrote a few notes:...** **You couldn't save me anyway...**

"Haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"Lily Evans. She killed herself." James froze, listening in.

"No! I don't believe it, she always seemed so happy!"

 **And to the girl...w** **ho feels the way I did...**

Wide eyes took in the body of the redhead, slowly realizing that it could have been her. It could have been her laying there on that stretcher, dead.

 **How does someone so perfect...** **still want to hurt more?**

The Great Hall was somber, disbelieving. A girl they knew, a girl they had classes with, had seen in the halls and at meals, who had always been the first to offer a smile and a kind word, had killed herself. Lily Evans' parents had been contacted to collect her corpse for a funeral, her sister hadn't spoken since if what they heard the rumor mill was correct.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Dark Enough. They are owned respectively by J.K. Rowling and Amanda Lopiccolo


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